As some of you may or may not know, I am a vegan. Being a vegan, suffice it to say, can be a difficult affair -- less so on what you are 'allowed' and 'not allowed' to eat but because of the social ramifications(!). When normal meat-eaters know that you are a vegan, most seem to have this hidden code which states that they must, in one way or another, find some sort of personal offence to my lifestyle. This then turns into one of the four (generally):
"But what do you eat?"
"But where do you get protein?"
"Being a vegan isn't healthy, you know."
"You need to eat meat."
As mentioned before, I had been getting a bit of stick for being a vegan. Well, no, not exactly true: I had realised a certain subtle 'feel' to how much some respect me and how some, well, don't. Recently, I've been getting more and more aware of how I must have respect from a person in any sort of relationship with me. Friend, colleague, partner, whatever. For the relationship to work properly, it must be based on respect and a desire to treat each other with a certain degree of kindness.
Obviously, you can understand why this has been getting at me. So, I decided I needed some time to get away from those who were giving me this disrespect and to reflect. In the past, I've had thoughts about whether or not I should stay with veganism. As with any person, life has brought me the challenge of doubt on several occasions. However, I went away and I reflected.
As I was sitting there, pondering, reflecting and having a good ol' de-stress, a fond quote bubbled up and left me feeling, for lack of a better word, satiated.
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right -- for you'll be criticised anyway. You'll be damned if you do, damned if you don't." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt.
This so truly connected with what has been going on with me.
Isn't it so true, though? How many times have we done something and been criticised, only to know so bitterly that had we not done that thing, we would have been criticised anyway. It made me realise how much we as humans must look out for ourselves regardless of how any other person judges us. Not only did it make me realise this, but also made a recent learning seem ever more poignant:
The only person that can help yourself is you.
A part of me so deeply resonates with the knowledge that this is a human truth, plain and simple. No matter what, being dependant on other to aid you indefinately is simply a path for failure -- and bucket loads of stress and discomfort for the one being the helper.
A part of me is still aching a little, so to cut this post short, just remember those special little words.
You'll be damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Don't forget that there are people out there that will criticise you for whatever you do. Remember this, and know that your actions are your actions and only you can take them. It's up to you to develop and transform your life. While others, like myself, can walk up to the door, open it, and give you a kick up the backside to walk through it, NO ONE can force you to walk through that doorway but you.
Yours,
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