The Angry E-mail to Sky

Oh. My. Jebus.

So, I gets home after a cruddy day that's pretty much killed me and what's this? Sky's gone and downgraded my viewing experience while still managing to steal money from my family?

Uhm, not on.

So, here's the angry e-mail I want to send to them. Sadly, I have to cut it down by another 250 characters before they'll accept it.


"Sky,

Today I returned home to find my Sky+ HD TV services had been 'upgraded'.

Frankly, I am appalled. Not only was I not given the option to retain the original layout for changing the channel and accessing the TV Guide (+ other options) but, even more frustrating, the layout is confusing and laggy.

To tell you the truth, Sky, I would have expected something far more customer-friendly from an organisation that implies such a quality through its advertising efforts. If I had wanted a visual-downgrade (contrary to whatever you may be calling it), I would have asked for one.

What's even MORE shocking is the fact that you seem to have closed the gap even further to why a person shouldn't get Virgin TV. The new design implemented is far from different and, as such, seems shoddy, poorly-crafted and zealously over-complicated.

To summarise, I am infuriated with both this update AND the fact that on no occasion did you ask ME whether I'd like to change what *I* see.

So, Sky, either promptly give me the information on how I can revert my layout to the user-friendly one you previously implemented or give me a damn good reason why I should continue using this god-almighty one instead of finding another, more attractive television provider."

Grr. To be completely frank, I wouldn't be so frakked off with them if they had just gone and asked me whether or not I wanted to have this o-so-fantastic 'upgrade'. However, deciding to change what I see on my television and making me feel trapped while watching something is not my idea of a decent upgrade.

Hope.

So, basically, I've been sat here for the past 25 minutes listening to bits and bobs strewn across the internet desperately trying to organise my thoughts into some form of coherent way of getting across what's going on inside Matt.

With today being one of these really long days where time seems to deliberately put on the brakes and has to be, quite literally, dragged through the day, my fears over my Spanish Oral Exam took great delight. I've never been much of a fan of fear. So much so, in fact, that fear was the reason I became a vegetarian (after the time I was a vegetarian because of a 'dare') the second time.


If you're new to reading my blog, what I like to do is talk about something quite 'mundane' and then link it to a deeper meaning which has 'revealed' itself to me.


So, as previously alluded to, today was the day that I had my Spanish Oral Exam. Have you ever had an experience when you do something for a bit and it just turns into one of those massive blur moments when everything seems to mold into one big time-space paradox thing? Yeah. That happened.

I'm sure you'll understand when I say that, as prepared as I might have been with my linking phrases and my subjunctive phrases (the subjunctive doesn't really exist in english like in other languages; if you're bothered, look it up!) and my god-knows-what-else phrases, I still feel very much unfinished.

--

Thankfully -- or perhaps not -- my response to the exam seemed to coincide with that of the other 2 of my classmates that I got to chat with. We all felt that:

1) we wanted to do it again; and,
2) we wanted to actually get what we wanted to say, said!

I feel undone. 'At a loose end'.

To be completely honest, not just at a 'loose end' but, really, a bit scared. While I can't actually know properly how my Spanol friends did in the exam, I do know how I performed. The term 'less than expected' fits. And no, that isn't some form of post-exam self-bullying. Considering the amount of home practice I did with myself over easter and each night post that break -- incessant rambling which I'd go over again and again until I got the right pronunciation and syntax -- I'm sure you can, again, understand my... disappointment.

Not, 'OMGWTFIH8YOUMATTHOWCOULDYOUDOTHIS?!', disappointment but, '*Le sigh* Why didn't I just breathe?', disappointment.

--

Regardless of all of this, though, it is my belief that spilt milk, however much has been spilt on the table, is spilt and all you can do is clear it up. A bit of 'gah' interspersed, but spilt-milk clearage nonetheless.

With my 'epic' love of films, I decided therefore to take one out from my school library (I know! Libraries with films?! ON DVD?!). Of course, I just had to take one of my favourites: The Matrix

So, I get home and I watch and, once done, I ponder. The Matrix always forces me to assess whether in the future I should study Philosophy. Knowing that there are so many intermingling philosophical, spiritual and religious ideas simmering throughout the film, it forces me to ponder whether I want to be like the people in all of those pods: going about their daily lives without every thinking. Without ever realising their true existence.

--

And so, as I sit here in my bedroom pondering my future, the Matrix and my exam, this ever-so-poignant need to have some hope for the future seemed necessary.

Because what else can we have? We can discuss and we can talk and we can reason but, at the end of it all, all we can do is hope. And, it seems ironic that I am having to make a decision between whether to 'drop' Spanish or my Philosophy courses when I reach the 'A2' level of my A-levels. I *can* hope that there's a G-d, or that there's an afterlife, or that (more mundanely) my Spanish result will be fine.

Really, though, what can I, or anyone else, do?

Do we really need to do anything else?

What, or who, is your hidden gem?

While I was initially torn between writing about the value of patience and my new-found hidden gem, I realised that I really wanted to cut through some would-be fluff and talk about a subject that's a bit more real. What does that subject happen to be? More like who!

Lily Allen.

Okay, before you blacklist my blog, please actually realise that she's only the trigger to this week's insight.


So, this week was the first week back after a rather misleading 2-week break from the ol' schoolmill and upon returning I, for one, felt out of the groove with it all. I consider myself the type of person that is able to carry a conversation quite well. Sure, I stutter every now and again and have a habit of randomly chucking words into sentences. But, quite honestly, I think I'm quite good with chattering away.

I'm sure you can imagine my dismay when I returned to school with this ability gone!

Now, being a 'Type 4', I have a huge affinity for being drawn to melancholy and sadness; being an INFP, I believe that it's massively important to stick to my values and beliefs. I don't believe that other people should have to deal with my negative emotions unless it's something that I think they need to know about, so I keep them to myself. And, not ironically, I put on a face. If you follow me on Twitter you may have seen me Tweet a few times on how I've been feeling real down.

My belief with being Matt is that to be the best person I can be, I have to find things that match how I'm feeling at the time. It just so happened that Lily Allen's music fitted my melancholy. Coming from a person that previously likened her music to 'junk food', I'd say that this change of heart is quite important.

Not only did her music fit my melancholy, but being someone that drags around old hurts like luggage when going on holiday, the humourously vengeful nature of her songs really stuck a chord with me. Though I'm drawn to sadness, I'm not to revenge.

So, imagine my surprise when I found myself foot-tapping and head-nodding to songs which I previously thought were like going down to Maccy D's! Being a [generally] healthy-eating vegan, the idea that I was now *loving* this 'junk food' really seemed like a 'polar shift' to me.


This, therefore, brings us around to the more spiritual/philosophical nature of this post.

You see, it really stood out to me how much my beliefs changed. How many times have you had your own values on something floored? Not many times, I bet.

I think it's so interesting how we can view something, or someone, so harshly when, actually, they're actually pretty decent. It reminds me of an old adage I once read which went something like:

"When you judge others, you are only judging your ignorance."

My request to you is as follows: Take something which you don't really like: a singer, a book, an animal -- whatever -- and google/youtube/read/interact with it for a bit. Actually immerse yourself in the singer or the writer, etc. and see if you truly dislike it or, rather, if you're simply being ignorant. In my case, it was ignorance.

My hidden gem was Lily Allen: Who's yours?

The Importance of Honouring Your Own Timing

Good evening,

As some of you may or may not know, over the past year, I have become more and more enraptured with 'Raw Foods'. Currently, I receive an eZine (that's 'electronic magazine') written by Karen Knowler, 'The Raw Food Coach' and prominent member within the UK's Raw Food 'Community'. I read an article within her eZine, Successfully Raw, t'other day. Suffice it to say, it really resonated with me and, in turn, I thought I would share it with you.

So, without further ado:

'The Importance of Honouring Your Own Timing'

by Karen Knowler.

One of the great things about working with so many clients, past and present and both in group and 1:1 situations, is that common themes patterns and problems become even more obvious than usual.

This past month there have been many themes coming through over and over again, but the main one that I'm going to pull out of the mix is the importance of timing.

It is only too common that I come across people who want to go raw "overnight" or "now!" or "in the next month" or at least some time really soon. Now, there's absolutely nothing wrong with having that kind of passion and excitement about something; in fact I wish there were more of it in this world! However, as I learned myself and as I see time and time again, sometimes these transitions take a fair bit longer than we hope, think or expect.

For my own part it took me five years to go and stay raw. Which I did for the next 5½ years, with no effort at all - but only because I was then fully ready.

I share this with you firstly to put some perspective on things (yes, five years of yo-yoing for me, that's a long time!) and second of all to bring up the importance of honouring your OWN timing.

As with all things in life, whether they be moving home, changing jobs, leaving or starting relationships, generally speaking we do this, if circumstances permit, in "our own time". And sometimes this can be a fast process and other times more lengthy.

Along your raw food journey you will encounter challenges that you never knew were possible. You will come face to face with things you have been burying for years (usually using food), you will realise things about yourself that both amaze you and sometimes sadden you. You will be able to sense a potential that before you had no concept of, and while one part of you will want to reach out and grab that with both hands, another part of you will cower away at what that might mean.

All of these things and more can mess around with our mind as we try to figure out what one earth it is we really want. "To be raw or not to be raw?" That is the question!

Add to this the most common derailer and demotivator of all - fear (and fear comes lurking up at every corner) - and it's no wonder that the "overnight", "now" and "within the next month" can stretch on to become months away or even, as in my case, years.

I have a belief that goes something like this:

"The greater your fear, the larger your potential."

Ponder this for a moment in relation to your own experiences on your raw food journey so far, and see if it doesn't bring up some deeper sense of knowing for you...

One of my biggest and most constantly pressing observations is that for those of us who choose to live life "in the raw" the world is not really that brilliantly set up for us. And this can be why it feels like it's hard to play "big" or full out as the person we truly are or know we can be.

And no I don't just mean food-wise, I mean in all ways.

Indeed, the further I go on my own journey (and right now the whole thing for me has speeded right up - more later), the more I realise how incredibly important, nay imperative, it is that I only do things I love, only surround myself with like minded people, only make choices that work for me and everyone else (and not just everyone else!), and that I am true to myself on a moment-by-moment basis.

Now, getting to this place can take time. And sometimes "time" means a long time. For me this has been 16 years and it's only really been for the past two years or so that I've been operating consistently in the way that I have aspired to for probably every single one of those 14 years previous.

Walking this path has been riveting, amazing, fascinating, challenging, turbulent and even gruelling at times, but not once have I ever felt it wasn't worth it; even though I may have sometimes wished I could have gone back!

Indeed, no other path has brought me so wonderfully and so consistently back to myself and to a place of peace that is unparalleled. There is no price that is too high to pay to feel this level of peace.

And yet, to get to this peace, we do have to struggle through the swamp sometimes. And that swamp, if you haven't already figured it out yet, is largely, if not completely, self-created. It's the world, the life that we have created through choices we made days, weeks, month and years ago and it's the canvas that we have chosen to paint, whether that be consciously or unconsciously.

Rewriting your life script takes time and energy, no doubt about it. And, although I am normally a "shades of grey" person, typically seeing subtleties in life and gradients in most things, when it comes to being "in the raw" or not, as far as I can see it, there is either a sense of moving forward with things or a sense of going back - never standing still, as life is always moving alongside us as we move forward with it, or past us, which leaves us feeling "behind" even if we thought we were standing still.

So as far as timing goes, sometimes on our journey, when things seem to be going a little fast, it is exactly the right time to pause, or to stop. Sometimes we DO need to let life pass us by a little so that we can feel cocooned from whatever growth was feeling intimidating to us. Some of us will choose a hefty chunk of bread or tub of Ben and Jerry's to work this magic, others alcohol, others some other form of "less-than- supportive" behaviour which may or may not be of the edible variety. It's all just detail, but the essence remains the same: We need to pace ourselves.

Learning when to stop, when to go, when to pause and when to leap forward is all part of the intuitive journey. Only YOU know what feels good and when. And often there is no external rhyme nor reason to this, it just feels right.

And then sometimes it can feel very wrong!

All these feelings, the good and the not-so-good, are simply signs to us as to what we should really be doing. And this can mean upping the ante in our diet, or stepping it back for a day or more, in order to recalibrate before moving on - when it feels right.

As far as words of wisdom go, if there's one thing I want to leave you with you this week, it's that giving yourself permission to be real with yourself in this way, to hear whether your whole person is giving you the green, amber or red light is to take a huge step forward in your evolution even when the outside appearance might appear to dictate otherwise.

Awareness is everything.

It's what you do with it and how you approach that "what" that really counts.

Growth is not always linear and it's not always what we think it is.

When you got at your own pace, you are only ever really moving forward, even if you choose to believe otherwise!

When you relax into this knowing, conversely, the whole journey can seem, in its own sweet and irony- laden way, to suddenly speed up and us with it! But when it's on your terms and only yours, then speed never equals "too fast", it can only ever truly be present moment perfection when you honour your own timing, precisely because it is your OWN timing.

This is where you will find your peace waiting for you too.

--

Karen Knowler, The Raw Food Coach publishes "Successfully Raw" - a free weekly eZine for raw food lovers everywhere. If you're ready to look good, feel great and create a raw life you love get your FREE tips, tools and recipes now at www.TheRawFoodCoach.com.

How many "No's" are in a "Yes"?

Envision it, you're in the office. There's a gentle noise in the background of phones ringing, people talking and walking about, doors opening and closing. You've just been told by Shelly from Human Resources that she wants a report on your department's efficiency on her desk within the next two days. Simon from packaging wants a meeting with you over your latest designs and you have to pick the kids up within the hour to get them home before taking them to swimming.

All of a sudden, over your shoulder, you hear, "Sarah, can you help me with this?"

You turn around to see Cassandra, a fairly hard-working member of your team asking for some help on a piece of work she's doing. You know you *need* to start getting things finished up and ready to set off for your kids' school, but you just can't help yourself.

"Yeah, sure," you reply as you sigh under your breath.

You don't know why you do it, but you just can't help yourself. You want to say "No", but you just can't stop yourself from allowing your time to be taken by others.

--

This is something I've been thinking about a lot recently. In life, I'm sure you'll agree that there are an almost endless stream of things being put on your to-do list. Yet, what I've been wondering is: how much of our time-drains and distractions are *self*-inflicted? How many 'No's can you find in that one little 'Yes'?

Now, I'm not going to get into the cause of why we do this. From lack of assertiveness to some past grievance which occurred when you were young, the sources of any of our behaviours can be vast and many. No, with this particular issue, taking the stance of moving forward is the more efficient.

Understanding and empowering yourself to say "No", in any way, is the hardest, but most important, step to take. When you can hold yourself back from giving yourself yet *another* responsibility, you will be filled with a sense of inner strength like no other (sometimes, after a little bit of guilt!)

So, how do we say no? Obviously, I'm not asking the question of how to make a sound! How do you get to the point where you are *comfortable* in saying "no"? Bingo.

1. Identify why you are saying "Yes" so much. Like I said before, there is a bottomless pit of reasons that can explain why you are giving people the Y-word rather than telling them straight out that you can't help them. As an example: "I don't like offending people, so I go to the expense of being extra polite by saying "Yes" all the time, even when I don't have the time/resources/energy to really mean it."
   
2. Understand that you're hurting yourself. In the long run, saying "Yes" to everyone really doesn't work. You get stressed out, your weekly timetable gets swamped, your view on life goes from something like "The world's an okay place" to "What the f*** is going on!?" It's *very* important to get clear with yourself that you aren't going to do anything but damage your own life in the long run by saying "Yes" to every possible responsibility that comes along.
   
3. Understand that you're hurting the other person. In a slightly more altruistic vein, you're hurting the other person in the long-run, too! By saying that you'll commit to assist another person with something, when you've already got enough going on as is, you know very well that you're simply not going to do the best job that you can do. It's as simple as that. Instead of fully applying yourself to the task you're helping with, you're really only setting them up to less-than acceptable work. Even more importantly, some people will very often ask for your help with things -- by consistently showing someone that you'll do their work with them (or even FOR them!) you're only making them *dependent* on you. This is perhaps the most damaging thing you can do to a person. Say No to start with and you'll be doing everyone a favour in the end.
4. You *aren't* the guilty party! Remember: You are helping everyone. Don't ever let yourself fall into the false belief that you are doing the wrong thing! Saying "No" is very much the right thing to do! Duping yourself into the belief that you've done or are doing something wrong is the biggest mental mistake you can do! With this line of thinking, you'll only end up saying "Yes" again. Do we want that? NO!
   
5. On the Big Day. When it finally comes around for you to say "No", keep in mind that the world is not going to end. You'll be fine, they'll be fine (and better, by the end of it all). Even more, remember that you've already got a lot going on right now, so a courteous "I'm sorry, I've got way too much to do right now," is all it takes. I'm, of course, not saying you have to scream in their face about how ungrateful they are! Simply, politely and assertively, tell them that you don't have the time. They'll understand.

How many "No's" are in a "Yes"? Well, by this point, I'd like to think there are none. If you ever get unclear about saying "No" to someone, just zoom back here and read through the 5-points. When you tell someone "No", you know it'll be worth the minute it took to read through this all. : )

Get into your 'Flow', value your Hard Work

I listened in on a call a few weeks back that Karen Knowler was delivering about, essentially, a new product she was offering called 'Raw Magic and Mastery'. ( No, this blog post isn't going to be lamenting the amazing powers this this product, or Karen Knowler in general, offers.)

No, today I'm going to be discussing with you, my dear reader, about a poignant quote this Miss Knowler shared with us on that call and how that relates to something I've very personally experienced today.

You see, today, in the spirit of pre-exam revision, I decided that I was going to focus on the english area of my brain. For those of you that aren't particularly aware, I've become quite fond of english recently -- more than a little bit due to my growing fond relationship with the english of marketing and advertising.

So, with this in mind, I decided I was going to create a few new lenses to go over some things and to, very essentially, exercise my writing juices. I finally decided upon writing '6 great headlines to GRAB your reader'.


Let's jump back for a second.

The quote Karen shared with us was something she heard, if memory serves correct, while at the Raw Spirit Festival. It goes as follows:

"Whatever you are searching for is also searching for you."

Now, this really resonated with me and, ironically, she felt it resonated with her, too! My interpretation of this was that whatever you wanted to do, or be, or know -- or anything -- if it's right for you, you will meet with success.

Meet with success?

That you'll be able to do it! That you'll meet the task, or the change in your life, or the anything and you'll be able to succeed at doing it.


This relates to my '6 headlines' very strongly. I expected the lens to take, what, an hour? Two? What started as a sideline for some school revision and a bit of fun turned into quite a bit of in-depth exploration of marketing and advertising. Though it may not seem like it, I took the time out to scour the web to find the examples I've used in the 6 great headlines.

And so it seemed to click together, what Karen said and today's happenings with this little project. I became so engrossed, so enamored and so enthralled with getting every little bit right -- writing for quality, rather than quantity! Anyone that knows me should be at least partially aware of how, erm, lengthy I can be. To finally be refining what I was putting felt interesting. Liberating! I was in what we call my 'flow'. I wasn't thinking about it or getting over-analytical with it (which is a deep flaw in my character, it seems!), but just going at it with my intuition leading the way. It was so empowering. I was in my flow.

And so I now look at the lens and instead of seeing something (like my first lens!) which I know I did a little blindly and a little... awkwardly. I got into my flow, and because I did, I look at my work with a little bit of awe. Well, no, pride. I value the hard work I put into that lens: not just because I feel that it's 'a good job', but because it didn't actually feel like hard work!

That reminds me of a little gemstone I'm going to share (something which I've *NEVER* shared before!). I was once listening to a hypnosis track by some hypnotist in which he said something which has stayed with me, well, ever since I heard him say it! It was, well, quite profound (in my humble opinion, at least). Get this:

"[...] if you're working hard, you're being smart.
But if you're really smart, there's nothing to it at all."

It just so deeply resonated with me, and today, it has resonated with me again. There really was nothing to it at all, and that makes me proud. Not for being 'really smart', but for being able to get into such a state of flow where I was able to make myself my own personal masterpiece.

Isn't it funny how so much can come from so little? My mini masterpiece from innocent english revision.


Humbly Yours,

Matt.


P.S. If you'd like to get a glance at the lens, just click here.

"Damned if you do, damned if you don't."

A couple of weeks ago, I was going through a spell of negativity from colleagues and friends (well, *certain* ones).

As some of you may or may not know, I am a vegan. Being a vegan, suffice it to say, can be a difficult affair -- less so on what you are 'allowed' and 'not allowed' to eat but because of the social ramifications(!). When normal meat-eaters know that you are a vegan, most seem to have this hidden code which states that they must, in one way or another, find some sort of personal offence to my lifestyle. This then turns into one of the four (generally):

"But what do you eat?"
"But where do you get protein?"
"Being a vegan isn't healthy, you know."
"You need to eat meat."

As mentioned before, I had been getting a bit of stick for being a vegan. Well, no, not exactly true: I had realised a certain subtle 'feel' to how much some respect me and how some, well, don't. Recently, I've been getting more and more aware of how I must have respect from a person in any sort of relationship with me. Friend, colleague, partner, whatever. For the relationship to work properly, it must be based on respect and a desire to treat each other with a certain degree of kindness.

Obviously, you can understand why this has been getting at me. So, I decided I needed some time to get away from those who were giving me this disrespect and to reflect. In the past, I've had thoughts about whether or not I should stay with veganism. As with any person, life has brought me the challenge of doubt on several occasions. However, I went away and I reflected.

As I was sitting there, pondering, reflecting and having a good ol' de-stress, a fond quote bubbled up and left me feeling, for lack of a better word, satiated.


"Do what you feel in your heart to be right -- for you'll be criticised anyway. You'll be damned if you do, damned if you don't." ~ Eleanor Roosevelt.


This so truly connected with what has been going on with me.

Isn't it so true, though? How many times have we done something and been criticised, only to know so bitterly that had we not done that thing, we would have been criticised anyway. It made me realise how much we as humans must look out for ourselves regardless of how any other person judges us. Not only did it make me realise this, but also made a recent learning seem ever more poignant:


The only person that can help yourself is you.

A part of me so deeply resonates with the knowledge that this is a human truth, plain and simple. No matter what, being dependant on other to aid you indefinately is simply a path for failure -- and bucket loads of stress and discomfort for the one being the helper.

A part of me is still aching a little, so to cut this post short, just remember those special little words.

You'll be damned if you do, damned if you don't.

Don't forget that there are people out there that will criticise you for whatever you do. Remember this, and know that your actions are your actions and only you can take them. It's up to you to develop and transform your life. While others, like myself, can walk up to the door, open it, and give you a kick up the backside to walk through it, NO ONE can force you to walk through that doorway but you.

Yours,




Psst! Ever thought about becoming a Vegan? No risks, no nasties: Check This Article Out!